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stress – Becky Heart
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stress Tag

The Prayer

When I was a little girl, I said a prayer. I asked earnestly to never forget what it feels like to be a kid. I don’t know exactly what my thought process was at the time. (I was quite young.) But there was something I saw in the grown-ups around me that I KNEW I didn’t want for myself. I remember knowing that it was VERY important to me. It is interesting to me that I was thinking that way at such an early age, but I’ve always remembered that one prayer. For the most part I believe the prayer was granted, because I seem to suck at “adulting”. No really. I identify so much easier and more quickly with children than I ever have with...

Surrender 101

My toilet was clogged for FOUR DAYS. This was a bit of a crisis for me, since I have only one toilet in my now little place. I won’t share the details of how, or who, “helped” the toilet to become obstructed. The main and most valuable point to this story is that the toilet would not fully and successfully flush. For four days!!! During the time that this was going on, I did not have a full awareness that the experience was happening FOR me, as some profound life lesson. I mean, I realized that in some twisted, smelly, disgusting way there perhaps was an analogy for me to explore...

It’s Okay To Go Slowww…

I went hiking for the first time in about a month. It was glorious! Being on the trail is like air to me. Too long away from it and I feel like I'm suffocating. As I began climbing the mountain, I felt a difference in my body. I set out to meet the trail in the same way I do when I'm taking it 3-4 days a week. Of course, the body said NO to that. I realized that I may have to slow down, maybe stop a few times to catch my breath or allow the body small intermissions. Well, I still killed it and had a great hike...

Alone.

I stood alone on the beach watching the sunset. It was magnificent. Did I mention I was alone? I began to contemplate lonliness. I’ve felt severe lonliness before. I’ve been depressed. I’m sad almost daily, at least for a moment. Standing there on the beach I asked myself, “Am I lonely, or sad? What is this feeling?” It was different. It felt important somehow. I’ve been drawn to solitude a lot lately. I meditate. I pray. I ask for guidance and say thank yous for lists of things. I jot down ideas, and write things. Most times they are left “unfinished”. I forget to eat. I let people in and I go out, but then I go back to my little cocoon and sit still in the...

Lunch: Just Food? Or An Act of Profound Self Love?

I had the most wonderful lunch! I took myself to my favorite Thai restaurant. I ordered things from the menu that I’d never tried before. (I have certain go-to dishes ordinarily) I enjoyed soup and even dessert. I sipped jasmine tea and finished the whole pot. It’s like it was my birthday or some other special occasion. Only it wasn’t. No, this date with myself, as magical as it sounds, was what most would call a “Hail Mary”. Forgive me for sounding melodramatic, but this was a life or death situation. A literal Lunch To Save My Life. “Pre-Lunch” my whole body was buzzing with agitation. My pores have been seeping anger and frustration and I’ve only been about 2 steps ahead of the men in the little...