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Blog – Becky Heart
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Blog

The Prayer

When I was a little girl, I said a prayer. I asked earnestly to never forget what it feels like to be a kid. I don’t know exactly what my thought process was at the time. (I was quite young.) But there was something I saw in the grown-ups around me that I KNEW I didn’t want for myself. I remember knowing that it was VERY important to me. It is interesting to me that I was thinking that way at such an early age, but I’ve always remembered that one prayer. For the most part I believe the prayer was granted, because I seem to suck at “adulting”. No really. I identify so much easier and more quickly with children than I ever have with...

Leave It All On The Track

Not everyone knows this about me, but I LOVE TO DRIVE FAST! In high school, my friends called me Mario after experiencing my driving. Back then I was in a Toyota Celica hatchback, but I took it off-road sometimes, and pushed it to the limits in turns and everywhere else. I have fond memories of that car. I have learned over the years that the exhilaration I feel when driving a car fast is not one shared by everyone, let alone many women. When I drive, it is a game of skill and strategy. I am not just going “from point A to point B” as people love to say are the purpose of cars (yawn...

Reflections On Mothering A Daughter ~ A Mothers Day Post

The following is a poem I wrote on Mothers Day. I feel it needs explanation due to the feedback I received after sharing it on social media. It is NOT my current experience of life or my relationship with my daughter. It IS however from my own life learnings, and things I have observed over the course of time, in myself and in our connection as mother and daughter. I was reflecting on how we teach our children, especially girls, by way of modeling. The "do as I say, not as I do" philosophy never works. If we as women diminish ourselves, shrink in the face of adversity, use hateful language to describe ourselves, and fail to care for our needs and our dreams, our daughters will fall in...

Surrender 101

My toilet was clogged for FOUR DAYS. This was a bit of a crisis for me, since I have only one toilet in my now little place. I won’t share the details of how, or who, “helped” the toilet to become obstructed. The main and most valuable point to this story is that the toilet would not fully and successfully flush. For four days!!! During the time that this was going on, I did not have a full awareness that the experience was happening FOR me, as some profound life lesson. I mean, I realized that in some twisted, smelly, disgusting way there perhaps was an analogy for me to explore...

It’s Okay To Go Slowww…

I went hiking for the first time in about a month. It was glorious! Being on the trail is like air to me. Too long away from it and I feel like I'm suffocating. As I began climbing the mountain, I felt a difference in my body. I set out to meet the trail in the same way I do when I'm taking it 3-4 days a week. Of course, the body said NO to that. I realized that I may have to slow down, maybe stop a few times to catch my breath or allow the body small intermissions. Well, I still killed it and had a great hike...

Alone.

I stood alone on the beach watching the sunset. It was magnificent. Did I mention I was alone? I began to contemplate lonliness. I’ve felt severe lonliness before. I’ve been depressed. I’m sad almost daily, at least for a moment. Standing there on the beach I asked myself, “Am I lonely, or sad? What is this feeling?” It was different. It felt important somehow. I’ve been drawn to solitude a lot lately. I meditate. I pray. I ask for guidance and say thank yous for lists of things. I jot down ideas, and write things. Most times they are left “unfinished”. I forget to eat. I let people in and I go out, but then I go back to my little cocoon and sit still in the...

The Day After

Well there you have it. History is made. Perhaps not in the way many people believed it would be. But made nonetheless. I chose not to share my thoughts and feelings about this years presidential race. There was no candidate that my conscience would allow me to support. Since that was my truth, it didn’t make sense to me to engage in the conversation. Through it all, I have been a curious, and often bewildered, observer. As an introvert and a highly sensitive person, watching all of it play out has at most times been excruciating. Now that the result is confirmed, I sit in absolute astonishment. I have never liked or trusted any politician with the name of Clinton. The main reason for this is the physical...