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self care – Becky Heart
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self care Tag

The Prayer

When I was a little girl, I said a prayer. I asked earnestly to never forget what it feels like to be a kid. I don’t know exactly what my thought process was at the time. (I was quite young.) But there was something I saw in the grown-ups around me that I KNEW I didn’t want for myself. I remember knowing that it was VERY important to me. It is interesting to me that I was thinking that way at such an early age, but I’ve always remembered that one prayer. For the most part I believe the prayer was granted, because I seem to suck at “adulting”. No really. I identify so much easier and more quickly with children than I ever have with...

It’s Okay To Go Slowww…

I went hiking for the first time in about a month. It was glorious! Being on the trail is like air to me. Too long away from it and I feel like I'm suffocating. As I began climbing the mountain, I felt a difference in my body. I set out to meet the trail in the same way I do when I'm taking it 3-4 days a week. Of course, the body said NO to that. I realized that I may have to slow down, maybe stop a few times to catch my breath or allow the body small intermissions. Well, I still killed it and had a great hike...

Alone.

I stood alone on the beach watching the sunset. It was magnificent. Did I mention I was alone? I began to contemplate lonliness. I’ve felt severe lonliness before. I’ve been depressed. I’m sad almost daily, at least for a moment. Standing there on the beach I asked myself, “Am I lonely, or sad? What is this feeling?” It was different. It felt important somehow. I’ve been drawn to solitude a lot lately. I meditate. I pray. I ask for guidance and say thank yous for lists of things. I jot down ideas, and write things. Most times they are left “unfinished”. I forget to eat. I let people in and I go out, but then I go back to my little cocoon and sit still in the...

Lunch: Just Food? Or An Act of Profound Self Love?

I had the most wonderful lunch! I took myself to my favorite Thai restaurant. I ordered things from the menu that I’d never tried before. (I have certain go-to dishes ordinarily) I enjoyed soup and even dessert. I sipped jasmine tea and finished the whole pot. It’s like it was my birthday or some other special occasion. Only it wasn’t. No, this date with myself, as magical as it sounds, was what most would call a “Hail Mary”. Forgive me for sounding melodramatic, but this was a life or death situation. A literal Lunch To Save My Life. “Pre-Lunch” my whole body was buzzing with agitation. My pores have been seeping anger and frustration and I’ve only been about 2 steps ahead of the men in the little...

Crying: How It Sucks and Why I Highly Recommend It

I’ve stopped wearing mascara on my lower lashes. It’s become a necessity since I started crying. All. The. Time. Seriously though, there are days when I have put on makeup and DURING application, tears would come. I would clean up my face and continue to apply makeup only to walk out of the bathroom and begin crying again. The struggle is real, as they say. The reaction of most people when they hear I’ve been crying is “Oh my goodness. Are you okay?” or “What is wrong?” or some other words of concern. I SO SO SO appreciate these gestures of compassion and love. Some days they are like air to me as I’m gasping for breath. If you are one of these people, THANK YOU for seeing...

Your Child Is ALREADY Good

I was walking to my car the other day and passed by a mother with her child of 2-3 years. They were sitting at a table finishing up what appeared to be their lunch.  When I was a few yards away, the child quietly asked the mother for something, to go somewhere.  The mother's reply: "If you're good, then we'll do that."  She not only said it once, but for some reason (perhaps at the child's insistence) repeated herself a couple more times. When I heard her words, I flinched.  It was like sandpaper on my heart.  At that very moment, the child let out a tortured sounding squeal and I thought, "Yeah, I feel that!" If only she knew what she was really communicating with her...