What The Hell Is Going On?!?! 5 Helpful Tips For Facing Uncertain Times
We live in a strange world at a curious time. There are shifts happening all around us. New paradigms and a new consciousness dawning. Yes, we all know that change is the only constant. Blah blah blah. But how do you navigate ALL the changes when they come at once? Or when a change seems so monumental you just don’t know how you’ll survive it?
A large part of successfully managing big change in life is learning how to be OK with the “not knowing”. Easier said than done, right?
Tony Robbins says “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.”
Here are my 5 Tips to help you ride the wave of change:
1) First of all, BREATHE. I always recommend breathing first and often. Some good deep breathing can truly shift everything. There are apps and videos that teach different types of breathing techniques if you need help with this 😉
2) Recognize your need to control the situation. There is something you fear you may lose or may happen to you in the “imagined future” based on your current experience. In these times, it is so easy to think that we can worry our way out of problems or control our way into a solution. That’s just NOT how it works. In fact, the opposite is true. The most important thing you can do during a period of great change is surrender! This can look different for everyone. You may say a prayer and offer up your struggle that way. You may write a letter expressing your intent to surrender the situation and offer it to an alter, a bonfire or a helium balloon. There are many unique and personal ways to do this. Find one that works for you and do it. Recognize in the process that it’s about releasing the “unknown” to a higher power and trusting that that power has got your back.
3) Notice that YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS about the experience. There is a part of our brain that is responsible for keeping us alive when faced with life threatening situations (like meeting a saber tooth tiger who is hungry and has two cubs to feed). Nowadays, most of us don’t regularly come across tigers in the wild, but our “survival brain” is still there scaring us whenever we feel “threatened” by life. So, when you are cleaning out your desk after 15 years at the same company or your child is going off to live with your ex-spouse in a different country, it’s common to have thoughts that make you feel like you are going to die. Know that these thinking patterns are there to scare us, to warn us of the most horrific things that may or may not ever happen. They aren’t real. They aren’t you. AND, you have the power to NOT ATTACH to them.
Here is a simple exercise to help illustrate this reality: Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Breathe a few times deeply as you relax all the parts of your body. Then focus on the natural “in and out” of your breathing. When you are there, visualize yourself floating up and out of your physical body and hovering just above where you were sitting. Look down upon your physical body and notice that you are an innocent being. Consciously send love and compassion to yourself as you see yourself sitting there. See yourself in the “situation” that is unknown. From this place of being “the watcher”, notice how you cause yourself suffering by attaching to thoughts that perpetuate feelings of fear and danger. Also as you sit there, notice how you are safe and supported. In this moment. You are safe. Send yourself compassion and grace. Forgive yourself for not trusting or for harshly judging yourself in the situation. When this feels complete for you, gently float back down into your body. Take some more deep breaths before opening your eyes again.
This can be a powerful experience, one that you can repeat at any time you feel yourself believing that what you “think” defines who or where you are.
4) Ask yourself “How is this perfect for me right now?” I strongly believe that things happen FOR us, not TO us. Every change that shows up in your life, from having a baby to finding out your spouse is cheating on you, contains the raw materials for your growth and ascension to a higher level of good in your life. WITHOUT EXCEPTION. It is up to you to find the ways in which it serves you to have this “problem” or experience. Whenever I ask this of my clients, inevitably they find value in their trials without much searching. Of course, it is different for every person and it may take some quiet time or meditation to really get in touch with the true meaning of it all. But I guarantee that if you look for the perfection in your circumstance, you will find it.
5) Every chance you get, write or mentally list all the things you are grateful for RIGHT NOW. This will take you out of the “what if” mind and bring you into the moment. It also creates super positive high energy vibrations that call more good things into your life. What could be better than that?
It seems like everyone I talk to is in some kind of transition these days. I’m right there with you. As I sit here, there are so many unknown variables in my life. It has taken a LOT of practice for me to accept and allow what is to be what is. And trusting, WHEW!! That’s a doozy. But it is possible to release the outcomes and to feel peaceful in the process of change. Be patient with yourself and let me know how it’s going.
Bunches of Love to YOU <3
