A Reflection On The End Of Life

My cousin Cindy died last night.  The cancer came in and polluted her body and it was more than she could survive.  She is in peace now.  She is my age.

I find myself with a different perspective on death and dying than it seems most people have.  There is a lot of talk about how it shouldn’t have happened and about how sad it is.  I try and try to find the sadness and it doesn’t come.  I had the same experience several years ago when my sister-in-law died and last year when my grandpa died.

 

It creates a challenge for me when choosing how to communicate with family and friends.  There are socially acceptable things that people say when someone passes.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s so sad.”

“Poor _______.”

“They died too soon.”

“This shouldn’t have happened.”

 

I don’t choose to use this language because it doesn’t feel honest for me.  And it leaves me searching for something, anything useful to say.

 

What I do (instead of talking) is hold the “deceased” and surrounding loved ones in my heart and in the front of my awareness, while sending loving thoughts and energy to them.  All day today I have been “feeling” Cindy and what she meant to the people who love her and to the world.  It’s so powerful.  And it cannot be expressed in words.  In fact, it’s possible that I “feel” her more now than I did when her physical body was functioning.

 

We all have different beliefs and one of mine is that we are spiritual beings first and physical beings next.  I believe that Cindy’s spirit is now free and at peace.  I believe that she is “remembering” who she really is now in her expansive, loving state of grace.  I am happy for her.  According to her own beliefs, Cindy is now resting in the light and love of the Lord Jesus Christ.  What could be more beautiful than that?

Free of pain.  Eternal rest.  One with LOVE.

 

Cindy and I did not share a close relationship.  We even had some rocky times during our young adulthood.  But I love her.  She has been a teacher to me on several occasions and is teaching me again today.  For that and for her, I am forever grateful.

 

I spoke with my grandma this morning and after ending the call, tears filled my eyes.  “What is this for?” I asked myself.  If I believe that she is in a beautiful, loving place, why am I crying?  Am I sad?  The answer was this: I feel the suffering of those who mourn.  I feel the sense of loss.  I find the expressions of love for her and her family to be precious and sacred.  And still, I am not sad for Cindy.  She is here with us, perhaps holding our hands with compassion as we grieve.  She understands all of it now.  Death is a part of this life we are experiencing.  Like everything else, it is here for us, to learn, to grow, to connect with one another.

 

I honor the life and death of my beautiful cousin this day. 

May we all remember how blessed we are and how precious our time is here.  May we also remember that we are always connected in spirit and that LOVE truly never dies.